“You don't
know what's happening on the other side of the wall because you don't want to
know.” This theory was proposed by James Baldwin at a 1963 public forum and
alluded to the willful apathy that segregation breeds.
Correspondingly,
embracing ignorance and burying one’s head in a textbook is a luxury only white
or even socially comfortable students of color are afforded. Regardless, institutions continue to penalize
activism in the form of punitive marks (e.g., D’s, F’s) that hold enough weight
to derail a student’s academic career and leave them with no degree, and
massive debt. Concisely,
Dr. Joseph L.
Graves is currently a Professor of Biological Sciences at North Carolina
A&T State University and author of The Emperor’s New Clothes: Biological
Theories of Race at the Millennium.
After experiencing several microaggressions on the path to completing
his Ph.D. he became involved in the Graduate Employees organization and Black
Action Movement at the University of Michigan, with the goal of fighting
institutional oppression. This pulled Graves’
resources and, consequently, he was kicked out of the program as soon as his
GPA fell under a 3.0.
I don’t
think it’s a stretch to say Graves’ experience isn’t anomalous. In addition to our academic work, non-white STEM
students/professionals are constantly burdened with the additional RAM needed to
make sense of the social environment we’ve found ourselves in. It’s almost like we’re getting two degrees! Yet
society stills holds us to the standards of groups that have the privilege of
looking away from social issues. It's almost
like comparing the speed of a hiker wearing a large backpack to that of a gearless
one.
Moreover, I started
this blog in Summer 2020, at the height of pandemic panic and police protests, to channel my thoughts on inequality and fringe topics in general. However,
my (tenured) professor didn’t seem remotely empathic to the civil unrest and it
showed through his trivial communication peeves, purposely obscure tests (which
he never reviewed in post) and overall garbage curriculum. Granted, I didn’t expect him to give me a complimentary
A for my trauma, but I didn’t expect he’d go full gatekeeper
either. Consequently, I received a D for that class
and, like Dr. Graves, began to reflect on how I’d gotten on the path leading to
a “cautionary tale.”
Indeed, my
constant ethnology (i.e., people-watching), on and off campus, in the months
before enrolling in Professor Pain’s class probably contributed to my gradual academic demise. Of course, this revelation
initially caused me regret and self-deprecation. “Why didn’t I just stay focused!” I thought. But I soon concluded that: while taking
inventory of my surroundings as I transition from unskilled worker to corporate
worm is mentally taxing, I don’t have the luxury of opting out.
This inference
was most salient in my Physics II course, when I observed that all the white
students sat in the front two rows. Surely,
this could’ve been academically motivated: studies show that students who sit closer
to the board receive higher scores.
Though, even if that was the reason, the ability to disregard the rich
data that propagates from being in a room full of students as culturally
diverse as our peers were, for the sake of boosting your grade by a couple
points is the epitome of privilege, and honestly, one I’m envious of. Such a trade-off will never be worth it for
me.
Additionally, due to the “networking” based model the American economy has adopted, students of color may face the burden of trying to scrape together a social network as well. For me, this surfaces in feeling the need to attend every campus event, and (pre-Covid) non college-related events off campus. The mini-series Normal People, while fictional, unintentionally typifies the ease at which a white person can accumulate social credit in tertiary settings. The protagonist, Connell, though working-class in origin, repeatedly gets invited to bourgeoisie parties with little effort. This is in stark contrast my experience: I distinctly remember an Indian girl in my class making it known she was throwing a party but strategically only inviting white or European looking classmates.
By and large, I hope this post motivated anyone affected by the burden of processing all the disturbing information that comes flying at marginalized students' heads in these spaces while also trying to complete a grueling degree to refrain from blaming yourself for being a little scatterbrained. Only a sociopath could focus so intensely on their GPA while the world burns around them. Thanks for reading and stay pissed.
GOOD
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