“Don’t Crap Where You Eat”: Practical Life Advice Or Classist Propaganda?

It’s been over 50 years since the Loving V. Virginia case rendered bans on miscegenation, or interracial dating, unconstitutional.  Yet society still unconsciously enforces norms that prevent mating across class and/or cultural lines.

Namely, “Don’t poop where you eat” is the go-to analogy for preventing relationships from forming in the workplace.  And while there are legitimate reasons for this advice, they could apply to any setting.  In other words, the adage is so ambiguous, inferring a place as specific as an office or campus to be where one “eats” is merely a Scooby-Doo tactic to ensure that those higher in the caste (e.g., CEOs, managers, etc.) have low competition in these spaces. 

Further, a table from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that almost 30% of workers in 2020 between ages 25-34 hadn’t even been with their employer for more than a year.  That jumped to 50% for employees between 20-24.  And though I couldn’t find reputable data on the average length of friendships for the aforementioned age groups, I’m sure the turnover rate is much lower.  Meaning, if things go south between lovers who share a friend group, they’ll have to endure each other longer than if their only connection was work.

Moreover, a 2010 edition of the MIT Sloan Review alludes to a CareerBuilder survey in which 40% of respondents had dated a coworker.  More recently, a 2019 study conducted by Stanford University showed that just as many adults surveyed met their partner through work and/or college as through friends: 20%.  Yet, convention leads the average worker to assume the former is so taboo.

So, given that a work relationship has no higher a probability for stress or awkwardness than one established via friends or family, and that tons of couples still form this way, it’s reasonable to conclude that opposition to workplace romance is less in the spirit of professionalism, and more to deter intercultural mating: given work is where people from different backgrounds are most likely to cross paths. 

Of course, as said before, this benefits the powerful few who can circumvent societal proscriptions, therefore having full liberty in the sexual marketplace.  But, as with other puritanical movements (e.g., the war on drugs), policies that suppress workplace romance foster inequality rather than virtue.

Thus, if you’ve ever found yourself unconsciously regurgitating the “Don’t poop where you eat” nonsense, it may have been more status quo programming than a sign of your inner Lucretia Mott.  With that said, thanks for reading and stay pissed.